The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
be right there i have to get my cape
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
