MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
