I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
