Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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