AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
