Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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