im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
