East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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