Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
