I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
