Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
