so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
