After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
