Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I want to fling myself into the sun
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
