I just threw up on my dentist
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
