I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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