9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
