this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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