Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
