the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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