i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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