I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
