Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
time to smoke my breakfast
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
