Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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