you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
