I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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