I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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