My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
