brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
