i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
