Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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