wrigley field is MILF paradise
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
