I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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