Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
