It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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