He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
