there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
