You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
