You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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