Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
