I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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