You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
