is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
