I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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