PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
