At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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