And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
