It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
