literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
