If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
