do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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