definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
