Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
